Z: Today, I have my friend Dusty the dachshund here with me. Hi Dusty.
D: Hi Zuzana.
Z: Dusty, is your ear wet?
D: Yes, unfortunately when you have long ears like mine, they hang down into my water bowl every time I get a drink.
Z: Oh, I see… So Dusty, tell us what do you like?
D: I like making people happy. Then I like eating puppy treats, wagging my tail, and going for walks. I like having my fur brushed. I like licking people´s hands. People are so tasty… They are like lolly-pops. I also like sticking my nose into slippers. Slippers are warm and cozy. My nose is long and it fits perfectly inside there. I think everybody should try that.
Z: I’m afraid not everybody has such a long nose like you.
D: You’re right. I’m a long dog with a long nose. I also like playing with my toy frog. I got it for Christmas. It’s green and round so it just barely fits into my mouth. I like carrying it around and nibbling at it. I also had a toy owl. It was red and purple, but it lost its head.
Z: How could an owl lose its head?
D: I was chewing and chewing, until one day I chewed the head off.
Z: OK, OK, let’s not scare our readers, Dusty. Let’s move on to my next question. Do you like when someone reads to you?
D: I love listening to stories. When you read to me, I feel like I am part of the adventure. I always listen carefully so I don’t miss anything. When you were preparing the book about me to be published, you were reading it aloud. It was good because that day there was a terrible storm and I was scared. When I heard your voice, I wasn’t afraid anymore. Human voices have a wonderful sound. It is the same thing with my barking. You also enjoy it.
Z: How do you know I enjoy your barking?
D: I am sure you enjoy it. Everybody likes my shrill voice that can be heard far far away. Oh, I almost forgot. I also like making holes in socks. What about you Zuzana, do you like making holes in socks?
Z: Not really. I like wearing socks.
D: It’s fun. It’s also fun to tear paper.
Z: What do you enjoy about tearing paper?
D: The small pieces look like snow. And I like snow. Snow is soft. I like jumping in it in winter and rolling in it.
Z: Aren’t your paws cold?
D: No, I have my furry socks. They keep me warm.
Z: Really?
D: You haven’t noticed? I wear them all the time. They are fluffy and red.
Z: Oh, now I see. You mean the fur on your feet.
D: Yep. Maybe I could borrow some of your paint and I could dye them blue. I like blue. Or purple.
Z: You would leave footprints everywhere. But I must admit it would look cool. What… what are you doing?
D: Sorry, I was just nibbling at my tail. I was looking for some fleas.
Z: But you don´t have any fleas, do you?
D: No, I was just thinking it would be fun to find one. I would give him a name. I would call him Rudolph. I could train Rudolph to do somersaults. And if I met a big dog, Rudolph would bite him. I know it isn’t nice, but I would use my flea only if the dog was mean to me.
Z: I see…
D: Zuzana, may I lick your nose?
Z: OK… Th… thank you, that was a sweet kiss. My next question is, how would you like to spend your perfect evening?
D: I would love to stay in a butcher’s store. (Dusty is licking his mouth and nose). I could eat all the sausages and ham over there. I like sausages and ham.
Z: Is there anything you really don’t like?
D: I don’t like storms. And I don’t like when someone is too noisy. I get scared. I am also afraid of fireworks.
Z: I understand that. If you could become a different animal for one day, which animal would you choose?
D: Let me see… I think I would like to be a human for one day.
Z: Why would you like to be a human?
D: I could see the world from above. I have very short legs so I like when you pick me up. Everything looks interesting from up there. I wouldn’t need to jump up on a chair to see what is on the table. Maybe it would be interesting to be a spider for one day. I would like to try making cobwebs. Can I have a cookie, please?
Z: Yes, as soon as the interview is over you will get one. Just one last question. What message would you send to our readers?
D: Keep smiling. And if you have a tail, wag it as much as possible.
Z: Thank you very much for the interview. Here is your cookie.
D: Thank you. CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH…
